I am a compassionate and heartfelt listener, especially when a married couple walks through my door. By the time most couples walk in the door of my counseling office they are highly distressed and what they want most from me is the “fix” or “change” their spouse. Unfortunately that is not what a good marriage counselor does. A professional and licensed counselor works with the client/consumer to enlighten the areas that each individual needs to change. In other words, “If it is to be, it is up to me.” as opposed to, “If it is to be, it is up to them. (meaning the other spouse). If a married couple can come to terms with this premise early in the counseling experience, then more often than not, the counseling experience will be positive. Change happens in a system through positive and negative interloping interactions. Will that change be positive or negative? That is the question that you need to ask yourself if you are struggling with you marriage. What changes can you personally make to influence your marriage relationship for the better? You’d be amazed at the effect a single action of kindness can have on your mate. Ask yourself the question, “In what way does my spouse most desire my love or attention?” Give to your spouse in the manner in which he/she will receive. If your spouse loves to talk then the gift you can give is having a long conversation. If sexuality is the way your spouse communicates his/her love, then honor that in your relationship. Try this exercise of giving and let me know what happens.
Many Blessings Sent Your Way!!!!